Respect Your Spouse
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
1 Thessalonians 5:11 NIV
A fictional story:
Another hour until the fireworks started. Adriana looked around at the other ladies in the circle, laughing at their husbands’ antics in the kitchen. Just the night before, her own husband, Joe, had overfilled the soap dispenser in the dishwasher, covering the floor with bubbles. She looked across the room where he visited with a friend then began her tale. Before long the whole group of ladies was laughing along with her. A hand on her shoulder alerted her to Joe’s presence, his laughter in her ear.
On the way home, he drove in silence. She glanced sideways at him. Was he upset?
~ ~ ~
Our tongue holds tremendous power to build up or tear down.
I have heard women “tell on their spouse” and then watch his face cringe as the story unfolded. I have seen Facebook posts that I am sure have let the cat out of a bag that needed to stay closed.
With an event wrapped in humor, our spouse may often laugh right along with the rest of the crowd while inside his response is nowhere what you are seeing.
A simple spilling of the soap bubbles may not be a big deal, or maybe he is embarrassed that he didn’t know something so simple. Or perhaps it’s more serious and we share an event he regrets even happened, no matter how funny it is.
In my life, I have had my words or actions laughed at more times than I like. I was very good at laughing along with everyone else, while inside feeling put down and wishing no one could see me. I don’t want to turn that onto my husband. I want to show him respect like the Bible instructs wives to do.
How do we ensure we respect our husbands in this area?
~ Even if he laughs along with you in front of everyone when you share funny events with others- talk with him about how he feels and verify that his laughter is not just a cover up.
~Check your motives. Are you sharing in order to “tell on him”? If so, don’t do it.This
Indicates something you need to work on between the two of you.
Indicates something you need to work on between the two of you.
~Ask permission before sharing.
But what if our husbands have done more than fumble pet peeves? Maybe he fumbled the game ball and our marriage is on the rocks. Are all bets off?
When hurts are fresh, it’s hard to hear anyone talk about forgiveness and restoration. What we really need and want may be just a hug and a good cry. We need to hang on to God in these times and pray for the desire to forgive, the desire to find the good and the desire to seek restoration.
Whether the hurt is fresh or forgiveness has already been extended and the hard work of restoration is ongoing, taking care with the words we speak about our spouse – why we’re sharing, how we’re sharing and with whom we’re sharing will help ensure we build up our marriage not tear it down.
~Why share with someone? To gain spiritual support through prayer and honest accountability to work on our own stuff in order to nurture restoration. To have a witness to go with us to confront our spouse. To receive GODLY counsel.
~How do you share with someone? With respect for who he is as a child of God. Honestly, without grumbling and complaining – which only leads to an atmosphere of judgmentalism – taking attention off of our own heart that needs to be kept right before God.
~ With whom do you share? Someone who has PROVEN themselves wise in the word of God, compassionate, honest and not a gossip.
In good times and bad, we can build our marriage by respecting our spouse, both in word and in thought.
A cheerful look brings joy to the heart, and good news gives health to the bones.
Proverbs 15:30 NIV
Do your words bring joy to your husband’s heart?
~ ~ ~
…and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:33 NIV
Disrespect is highly crushing when in front of other people. Do your words show your husband respect in front of others?
Excellent reminder. Being respectful of others is a huge issue, and being respectful of our husbands is vital.
So true. Without respect, our husbands can start feeling resentful. So important to guard our words. Blessings!