Today, we continue to look at principles found in the 10 commandments that can be applied to guarding intimacy with our spouse. Not legalistic, binding laws, but principles that can guide us in our decisions.
“You shall not make for yourself an idol…”Exodus 20:4
For a marriage it might sound like this: “Don’t substitute some other activity for time with your spouse.”
How do we spend our time?
I get it; we need time to replenish our battery on our own. Our spouse isn’t the only one in the universe and we do need balance. But are we spending so much time on another activity we have none left for our husband?
Sometimes our activities are chosen for us. Family gets sick and needs care. Bosses demand we stay and work late on a project. School’s announce a requirement for graduation – at the last minute. A commitment we made grows beyond our expectations.
Hopefully, activities that are in our control have been decided on together. We know we are headed into a few weeks of craziness while our kids play their various sports or participate in other extracurricular activities at school. We know that work schedules are extra heavy while paying off debt or a project deadlines loom. We know that the special service project we volunteered for will consume a period of time.
All that said and done, we’re back at home. The business for the day is over. What do we choose?
Television? Sports? Reading? Shopping? Internet surfing?
Do we choose it for a few minutes or lock our spouse out of our down time?
Down time can give us time to catch up with ourselves. The best down time spent is resting in the Lord. But when we participate in something recreational, it can be far too easy to overdo and end up seeking that activity as an end in itself.
Something about it takes our mind off the stress (not entirely bad), but if we rely on it to solve our stress related issues, then we have misplaced our trust. God alone can TRUELLY replenish and restore. When we go to this thing over and over we can become dependent on it. It can replace our longing for something real. For intimacy.
Anything that fills that desire for intimacy will take away from the intimacy that God has planned for husband and wife.
