Today, we continue to look at principles found in the 10 commandments which we can apply to guarding intimacy with our spouse. Not legalistic, binding laws, but principles that can guide us in our decisions.
You should not commit adultery. Exodus 20:14
This one sounds something like: Don’t cheat on your spouse either with your body or in your heart.
Jesus made it clear on the Sermon on the Mount that keeping ourselves pure, not cheating on our spouse isn’t just about not “doing the deed.” It’s about what goes on in the heart.
Who or what do we turn to when our heart is empty and we aren’t experiencing the intimacy God has intended for us to find in marriage?
Do we indulge in pornography? And yes, women are guilty of that as well as men. Do we read romance novels that are more erotica than friendly chic lit? Or do we over-indulge in the fantasy of a perfect relationship through any type of novel/movie/TV show? Do we satisfy our need for deep heart connection through other friendships? Or do we drown our sorrows in food, alcohol or drugs when we miss out on intimacy ?
Any time we substitute the real thing for the fake or numb our pain we destroy opportunity for intimacy.
The enemy takes advantage of the situation to fill us with shame over our choices. When shame enters the picture, it is hard to connect with anyone. Or in the place of shame, our mind is filled with unrealistic expectations. And when those are not met, disappointment and disillusionment becomes the barrier to intimacy.
If we want to pave the way for intimacy with our spouse, we need to keep our hearts directed towards our spouse and our minds centered on the Lord and His ways. After all, He doesn’t give us these directions to make things tough on us. He wants us to find fulfillment with our spouses. His principles keep out all those things that will interfere.
What types of things pull you away from your spouse?
How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word. I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands. I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you. Psalm 119: 9-11
photo credit: www.freedigitalphotos.net // tOzz
