For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 6:12
Almost 4 years past discovering the betrayal in my marriage, I can testify that God has restored us and healed our hearts. Not that we have arrived at some marriage utopia, there is still a battle to be fought. There always will be in this life.
But the battle is not of this realm. Our spouse is not the enemy. When our marriage is in trouble, we can cower in defeat or get out on the front line of this battle. Not fighting IN our marriage, but FOR our marriage. And regardless of whether this is a long drawn out or shorter campaign, here are 4 action steps to take to keep you on the right side of the battle lines.
Make sure communication channels are open to command center. Keep communication with God unhindered. Keep our own life free of sin. Don’t give the devil an opportunity. Stay in the Word and on our knees.
Wear your gear. Do NOT attempt to go in unprotected. Ephesians 6:10-18 tells us all about the armor we should wear.
Gather reconnaissance. Know who the enemy is and what his tactics are. Know the best way to fight the battle. The most reliable source for this is the word of God. The enemy’s approaches haven’t changed over the years and the word of God is full of tactics to use against him.Bring back up. This is not a solo mission. God sent His Holy Spirit to lead, guide and direct us. He gave us the church to fight back to back and arm in arm. It’s important to get a Holy Spirit led prayer/support group to hold our arms up in the fight. Just like Ben and Hur did for Moses.
Go out in full array, dressed in the armor of God, praise Him before, during and after battle, and stand firm in the authority God has given you to fight!
Are you in the middle of a fight for your marriage? Without adding details, comment “yes” and I will pray for you this week. The Lord bless you and bring His peace and victory to your home and heart. If your marriage is strong, can you share one or two things that has helped you become/stay strong?
Action Steps:
Verse: Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. James 4:7-10
Personalize it for a prayer: Lord, I submit to You and resist the hand of the enemy. Send Him far from my heart, my home and my marriage. I come near to You and repent. Make my heart pure, my mind steadfast. I grieve over the state of my marriage. I surrender my heart and marriage to You. Lift me up above the fray. Lead me in your way.
Challenges:
1- Read and pray this verse every day for a week. (Do your best to memorize it.)
2- Ask God to show you if there is anything you need to repent of. Do so to make sure communication lines are unhindered between you and God.
3- Journal about your journey to fight for your marriage. Allow yourself to grieve about what this battle has cost you. Allow the Holy Spirit – our comforter – to give you comfort.
In gathering reconnaissance, it can be helpful (in addition to, not in place of going to the Word) to search out resources to help us get a handle on understanding the particular issue plaguing our marriage. Or in dealing with our own heart issues. This may be a counselor, a mentor who has walked this road before you or a (biblically based) book.
Notes:
If your marriage is strong, praise the Lord. These same tactics that are useful in the middle of battle, will be trustworthy in helping to prevent this war visiting your home.
If you are in an abusive marriage, be sure you (and kids if you have them) are safe.
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