Our culture is saturated with a “me first” mentality. My rights. My space. My time. We gear our life around what we want. Not a lot of thought is given to the other person.
Unless you’re in marketing. Then, of course, it benefits yourself to think of the other person. Even in the church. The pews are filled with “I don’t like those people coming in here.” “The sermon was too long.” “They repeated the song too many times.”
Families are filled with people who can’t get along because they don’t like to share their space or time. Or give up their rights to what they want. Siblings take offense when their boundaries are crossed. Children blame their parents for everything that is wrong in their life. Rifts are created and sometimes never crossed during a lifetime.
Co-workers, classmates, parents, siblings, spouses. At one point or other, all get offended when their time is encroached upon, their space is invaded or their rights violated.
About the only thing you don’t hear much of is “It’s my responsibility” or “It’s my fault.” Or “I was wrong.” That would require setting aside personal agendas for someone else’s.
Often I am the chief perpetrator of me-ism. When things don’t go my way I lean toward a pity party. When someone crosses my line of rightness, I tend to grab onto offense and clutch forgiveness close to myself.
It’s not what I intend to do. In my morning devotionals I declare all sorts of good intentions. My plans erode as the day goes by and I find myself drawing a circle of defense around me. I know this isn’t what God wants. Every morning it feels like I failed the previous day in my attempts to put others first But I know that I can do all things through Christ (Philippians 4:13). Even when selfishness festers in my heart, I long to choose the better path. Others have gone before me who modeled unselfishness far better than I could hope (Hebrews 12:1-2).
When tempted to toss the flag and call foul on those around me, I try to remind myself of the words from Hebrews 4:4 that I have not resisted to the point of shedding blood. And certainly my resisting is not a holy martyrdom that is talked about here. It is a selfishness that grieves the heart of my Father in heaven.
I am also encouraged when I see that so many of the people God chose to use in the Bible for his purposes were imperfect vessels. But they had a heart that longed to please their God.
When I fail, I bring my heart to the foot of the cross, repent and start fresh. I pray He teaches me to put Him first in every relationship. Say “you first” to others, have the mind of Christ and not be concerned for myself so much. His mercies are new every morning.
Do you have a dangerous time of day – a time where it seems impossible not to be selfish?
What are some practical ways that help you get through the day putting others first? How do you guard you heart in this matter?
